"Adopting a Child won't change the world; but for that Child the world will change."

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Attachment issus etc

Of late, I've read on several of my fav. blogs, how life with an adopted toddler can not only be hard, but throw all sorts of "curly" ones at ya! Stuff that isn't "common sense" to us, Western Folk! I read a dozen books, on attachment / bonding / adoption "blues" etc, before we brought Tiny home. Of course, things are always different when you have a "real live, in-the-flesh" baby or toddler at home! I'll admit, I'm naive. I've never been one to claim to have it "altogether", or sprout knowledge on parenting. I do speak from my own experience, and my thoughts. Well, the more I get together with fellow Mum's, the more my thoughts change! That's normal, right?! I tell ya, when I do talk with my Mum friend's - I certainly walk away, thinking I'm a moron, sometimes!!!

What am I prattling on about? I'm a bit embarrassed to say, I was one who thought "How on earth can a newborn remember his or her beginnings?" Coz that made sense to me. Now, after many hours of talking and reading, I DO believe that its possible. As I said before, I don't claim to know everything... not very much at all, in fact! But I want to know more. I want to try to understand. I get very confused, as I get told "but my 18 month old is doing that, and she's not from an orphanage" so I struggle with what exactly is "normal" and what is not?
Our baby girl has only been with us 2 and a bit months. Its very very early days. I've got no idea what the future holds - I can only pray that Tiny grows up to feel loved, secure and protected. Take each day as it comes.
OK, I've done waaay to much thinking - here's the good stuff! Another free kit, at Stacy's blog (and links to 2 other blogs from there!) Mr T was watching some "shoot em up" thing on tv last night, I wasn't in the mood - so it was a good excuse to hit the scrapbooking!

I designed this page for a friend's little girl, and loved it so much, I had to do one for Tiny too!


Linda said...

Love your scrape pages... Donna is doing them for Lauren and will have a book made each year for the highlights, so she will have 1 book a year. The rest of the pictures will be on cd for all of us.
I also read the blogs and see attachment issues. I've talked to Donna about it because we haven't seen anything major with Lauren. She was not very friendly when she first came home and gradually started to warm up. We have seen her gradually go from staying with Donna or Joe all the time to going with her cousins to play and with some little friends. She needs to touch base with one of them every once in awhile, but she sleeps well and eats well and seems pretty happy. I wonder if because she was older and grieved so much the first few days, that she knew how to attach. The people I read about seem to have received younger children. We are watching to see if something happens, but it is hard to tell, because is the behaviour because she is two and that's normal for that age or because a problm is developing? Donna is still reading and talking to Moms going through problems so she can be aware of what to look for. Hopefully we will be among the few that have no problems...
Tari is just getting cuter.. Love to see pictures of all your kids together. Linda

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

Love the pages...
As for the attachment.. I think we all have to try and do what we think is best..
I am scared.. but will do my best.. and if I need help ill get it..
Have a great week..

PIPO said...

Great pages!

Ahhhh....life and attachment - all a journey. Our journey is heading into smoother waters for now but I will always keep working on promoting my girl feeling safe, loved and able to communicate what is on her mind.

I know Tiny will have the same and that is GOOD stuff.

Briana's Mom said...

It took a little while, but Briana is very, very attached to me and Doug. She rather be home with us than anywhere else. She feels safe and secure when she is at home.

I don't think Briana remembers specific events as a baby, but I do think she remembers the feeling of being scared and the feeling of things changing in her life. I don't think anyone could ever forget that.

One on one time and lots of love is the key - at least I think it is. And I know Tari is VERY loved! :)