"Adopting a Child won't change the world; but for that Child the world will change."

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Perspective


I went to visit my Grandma in the nursing home today. Grandma has had alzheimers disease for several years, and has steadily gotten worse over the last year. When I say worse, I mean, she repeats the same thing several times, before realising, she's already said that! I'[m the only family she has here, now, and I haven't been to see her in over a month. I feel terrible about that. I go and visit her, give her an update on Mini's adoption. Talk about the kids and my family. She'd listen, taking it all in, and ask me questions (often the same question!) regarding what we've just talked about.

Today was different. It was 930am and Grandma was in her dressing gown, at her little table having her breakfast. Her hair was messy. Her bed unmade. I guess you might not think that's odd. But it is for Grandma. She's up, showered, dressed and ready to go at the crack of dawn. She often didn't know what she was going to do, as she'd forgot what day of the week it was - but was ready to go, when the nursing staff told her what was on the day's agenda.

As soon as Grandma saw me, she excaimed "Oh! My granddaughter! I'm so glad you're here!" She's always glad to see me, but she sounded troubled. I asked what was the matter. And for the next 15 minutes I heard a complete mish-mash of information - including the two little boys that keep misbehaving in her room. I thought, some visitors kids must've accidentally gone in her room. Unfortunately, it was the "invisible" boys - that only Grandma could see and hear. She'd stop midsentence, and say "hear that? where are those naughty boys?!" When I said I couldn't see them, she told me I was ridiculous, he was right there, but his friend had run away. She was very worried, that these children were her responsibility and their parents must be worried sick, she had to take them to the Police Station. She started talking to the boys.

I felt ill. I wanted to runaway and burst in to tears. What has happened to my Grandma?

I didn't stay long, the nurse came to encourage Grandma to have a shower and get dressed. She said she was just about to go to bed for the night. I didn't want to leave, but at the same time, I couldn't be there any longer.

As soon as I left her room, I was crying. I cried for my 40 minute trip home. I'm crying now. How do you try to help someone who doesn't know they need help?

Gosh, I love my Grandma. It completely breaks my heart, that the intellegent, generous, kind-hearted lady, that is my Grandma... is slipping away.

16 comments:

Linda said...

So Sorry to hear your story. I so worry getting older that it could be me. I have told my kids that I don't want them to remember or think that is really me. I want them to remember the funny times and good times. I think she does not know anymore, and she would want you to know the Gramma that is in your heart and mind is the one she wants you to smile about and remember. Please know you are not alone at this time in her life, and prayers are being sent to you.... Linda

a Tonggu Momma said...

I am so sorry. Alzheimer's is a cruel, cruel disease.

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

I am sooo sorry ..
My great grandmother had alzheimers and it was sooo hard to see her change..
I tried to remember the good times..
Hugs girly..
thinking of you..

PIPO said...

I'm so sorry, luv.

It is so very painful to see when someone we love is fading away.

Hugs.

3D said...

I am so sorry. My nanny had dementia and to see the deteoration of someone you love is so hard.

Hugs.

Keep smilin!

Rhonda said...

I'm so very sorry...*hugs*

M3 said...

I'm sorry sweetheart. It's so hard. My grandfather had dementia... Breaks your heart. Sending you and your Grandma huge hugs.

Janet said...

Oh, sweetheart. How heartbreaking! I am so sorry this is happening. Just be kind, and try to go along with her a bit. I am so sorry. I will pray for you, and for your dear Grandma.

Chelley said...

Alzheimer's is so heartbraking for those that are left behind.. Hold on tight to those times that she was "grandmother"

As hard as it is I am glad that you still go and visit her! I have heard some very sad stories of family that stoped visiting....

Prayer and jugz for you.....

Chelley said...

ahhhhh I mean HUGZ

Ava's family said...

I'm so sorry this is happening to your Grandma. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. Sending you ((Big Hugs)) and please know that your Grandma and family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jenn said...

So sorry. Alzheimer's sucks. There's room for some REALLY good news in your life right now. Hopefully it's only a few weeks away...

And thanks for the video cam advice. I'm going to educate myself before the holiday sales are in full swing.

Elisa. said...

It's so hard to see someone you love go through this.
Especially when it is your grandma, grandparents and grandchildren share such a special bond.
You should be so proud of yourself that you spend the time to go see her even though it hurts.

Polar Bear said...

I wish I had words. I am so sorry.

*HUGS*

Beverly said...

My grandmother passed with alzheimer's. She had a "baby" that was left for her to care for much like those two boys. Makes me sad for you to witness. Just reading your grandmother's tale makes me remember mine. She also forgot who I was fairly quickly which was so painful for me as she was my favorite. {{hugs}} to you.

Briana's Mom said...

Oh no. I am sooo sorry. What a horrible experience for you. My heart is breaking for you.

My grandmother is getting worse too. She keeps thinking her parents are still alive. She also thinks she is still living in Florida.

It is so hard to see someone you love so much slipping away. Sending big hugs!